Surgeon Appointment
1 year ago
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sleepless Nights
Well Zachery has had pretty sleepless nights the last few nights. I dont know what it is..but he goes to bed, I usually stay up and clean or just sit back and relax, and as soon and I mean as soon as my head hits the pillow, that damn machine starts beeping, and beeping ah I want to throw that thing out the window! so I put the oxygen on and go back to bed, well he starts coughing, so I suction, go back to bed, machine beeps again, I get up to see whats going on, oxygen off by this time he is fully awake hopping in his bed, and wants to play by this time it is around 2-3 I can't just leave him cuz he is a stinker and leans over the rails, or something! by the time i fully get to bed and asleep the alarm is going off for Paul to get up..hahaha, and Emma has to get to the bus by 7a.m. so then Allie is up and Zachery is back up i have got about 7 hours of sleep total in the last 4 nights, Im running low on energy, i feel funny I know it is from the lack of sleep, I've been arguing with Paul also for it seems like weeks know things are not getting any better they are getting worse, I actually told him tonight, that one of us is moving out. We have been together for 11 years and I think that he thinks oh I'm just mad it will blow over..um he don't realize no it won't blow over anymore It hurts to think that we will not be together, but it hurts right know because we never see him. He's at work, and yes I know he has to work, but instead of coming home he either goes to his friends, or he goes to an odd job! So I told him he can continue living his life the same as he does know except Im not going to be the one sitting there waiting for him to come home eat, shower, and go to bed. I think that at this point it will never change. My kids deserve to hear happiness not mommy bitching at daddy for not helping. So I dont know I'm tired stressed and blah...SO anyways I want to say keep mister Tucker in your prayers,he and his family are going to be going through awhole lot real soon..pray for Tucker's mommy, daddy and sister, that they will all have a safe trip and give them all strength to make it through this time... I was so bummed we didn't get to hang out this weekend, hopefully when he gets back home we can!
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at home 15days after diaphragmatic hernia repair
Singin The "Beach Song"
Zachery
who's behind me????-Allie
Allie
Halloween
Grandma Sammy, Allie, Aunt Stormy, Zachery
Hang in there girly.....not only the kids, but you also deserve to be happy. The kids are HIS RESPONSIBILITY as well so if he doesnt want it.....get out. You are doing the right thing. It sucks to be in a relationship where you are mad all the time....I was there. It is better for them to be gone out of your life on a daily basis instead of showing up when it is convenient and then you are mad all the time, stressed....atleast if you are on your own -its just you and you arent mad all the time. That was the way I felt anyway. I am SOOO glad I got out of that last marriage....It was all about him, whatever he wanted to do, didnt matter if i was sick, or asked for help...it was 1/2 done and usually not. I did it all and was pissed all the time about it, the lack of effort on his part to be a partner.
ReplyDeleteAnyway....thanks for keeping us in your prayers. the clock is ticking fast and we will be on our way before we know it. I will call you sometime after we get there...probably Monday night.