Go Allie Go..No Zachery NO!

So it's been a while since I have wrote...I've been falling behind lately, I think that for the first time in the last four years I'm really starting to get depressed, I'm getting ZERO help with the kids, and I need a break...but anyways, little miss Allie has been getting into the crawling position all by her self. She is getting on her knees and pushing up, I've noticed that she does it when she is mad:) If i just let her be and and she does it, know if I try to help her she won't do it. So this is really exciting, I'm hoping that she is just going to take off on her own. On the other hand mister Zachery is being a stinker, pulling the lamps off the table, getting into the trash! The other day I was giving them baths I started with him first and when it was Allie's turn he followed us to the bathroom, and well as I had her all soapy he decided he was going to play in the trash can, of course I was home alone and had no one to yell for so I had Allie by one arm, trying not to drop her and the other hand trying to get him out of the trash...boy I was ready to scream and cry by the time I was done, also neither of them having been taking naps, so it has been steady on top of both of them lately..I always said I would never do the nurse thing again, but I'm getting to a breaking point, I need help and I NEED A BREAK, I feel Like I'm going to break..It has gotten so bad, that the other day well I go to Wal Mart basically once a month and get everything that we need to last at least 3 weeks, I couldn't even get a sitter for 2 hours,( mind you Paul took the day off from work) and had to take them, wow never again, I took my 8 year old nephew to help, he pushed Allie in the stroller and I put Zachery in the cart, yeah no that was not well. Allie screamed, Colton was poking around, with her, and Zachery hated the cart, he kept throwing his toys on the floor and every time I turned around something was going on, no needless to say I didn't get what I needed! But I'm seriously thinking about getting some respite care, I'm not to crazy about leaving my kids with a stranger, but something has got to give, i can't seem to get any family help anymore, my mom works a full time job, and well Paul's mom always has his sisters kids, or just says she's wore out from having those kids, and well Paul basically lives his own life, oh I don't even want to get into that...other than that the kids are doing pretty well I just hope me being stressed won't stress them out! Well back to the kids they are on top of each other...Karen just let me know when you are coming down and we can try to get together, It would be nice for the kids also to get out of the house