Time Needed!

I for the life of me can not keep up.. The kids are keeping me on my toes 24/7 i can't turn my back on them or sit down for a few, there is always something to be done here cleaning laundry or just chaing them room to room. man Zachery is getting so fast at rolling, I wish he would just stand that boy thinks that it is so funny to stand that he gets to laughing so hard and just plops down, and he is so heavy that I can't stand him very long..and as for miss Allie, she watched her brother and learns from him. I feel like we have so many appts to catch up on, man if we make them all and go to all of them needed, we mise well just stay up there I've thought about calling a social worker and saying ok we need these put us in the RMH and make them all for one week, I feel kinda like I have been slacking on alot latley, it seems there is not enough time for anything..on that note I did it I have called in for some nursing!!! They are going to be sitting up a interview..I tell you I think i have got so caught up in depression from not getting out of the house much I' feel like breaking some days...with school getting ready to start and nursing I hope it will get better..I just feel almost like I will make the kids think that I don't love them..gosh I do this all the time I feel so guilty.. I have to over come this guilty feeling and I don't know where to begin...any suggestions??? Oh I have to tell you my little man just amazes me he is so loving to me and it melts my heart..I put my finger to my mouth today and said shhh and he put his finger to his mouth and smiled real big at me and I take my and under my chin and say hey bubbby and he takes his fist and hits his chin, he also does that for mom, it's so cute I try to catch alot on video but when the kids see i have it they don't do anything it's like they knw I'm trying to catch them doing things...well thats all for tonight Zach's feeding pump is beeping and he just woke up ahhh it's gonna be a late night with him, awake at 9 so I'll try to keep on top of posting I promise