Time Needed!

I for the life of me can not keep up.. The kids are keeping me on my toes 24/7 i can't turn my back on them or sit down for a few, there is always something to be done here cleaning laundry or just chaing them room to room. man Zachery is getting so fast at rolling, I wish he would just stand that boy thinks that it is so funny to stand that he gets to laughing so hard and just plops down, and he is so heavy that I can't stand him very long..and as for miss Allie, she watched her brother and learns from him. I feel like we have so many appts to catch up on, man if we make them all and go to all of them needed, we mise well just stay up there I've thought about calling a social worker and saying ok we need these put us in the RMH and make them all for one week, I feel kinda like I have been slacking on alot latley, it seems there is not enough time for anything..on that note I did it I have called in for some nursing!!! They are going to be sitting up a interview..I tell you I think i have got so caught up in depression from not getting out of the house much I' feel like breaking some days...with school getting ready to start and nursing I hope it will get better..I just feel almost like I will make the kids think that I don't love them..gosh I do this all the time I feel so guilty.. I have to over come this guilty feeling and I don't know where to begin...any suggestions??? Oh I have to tell you my little man just amazes me he is so loving to me and it melts my heart..I put my finger to my mouth today and said shhh and he put his finger to his mouth and smiled real big at me and I take my and under my chin and say hey bubbby and he takes his fist and hits his chin, he also does that for mom, it's so cute I try to catch alot on video but when the kids see i have it they don't do anything it's like they knw I'm trying to catch them doing things...well thats all for tonight Zach's feeding pump is beeping and he just woke up ahhh it's gonna be a late night with him, awake at 9 so I'll try to keep on top of posting I promise

Sorry!!!

Sorry it has been so long since I have wrote, things have been so crazy and I'm not sure when they will get back on track...So the kids have been great, knock on wood! They are still little stinkers. The other kids will start school tomorrow, and Zach and Allie start September 8th, so a few more weeks. I have no clue where this summer went, it's over and I'm not ready for the cold weather to begin. So back to the kids..they seem to amaze me everyday, Zachery the little things that he is responding to me brings tears to my eyes, like the other day we were in dollar general and he was sitting in the cart and he looked a little tired, so i said bubby you ready for a nap and he shook his head no and smiled, needless to say that he went to sleep as soon as we got home. The next day I was getting ready to change his diaper and I said did you pee your pants you need me to change you, and he nodded yes and laid down for me to change him, It's so crazy how the little things make you so excited!! oh I was away for 4 days wow, I was in Tulsa OK, Paul's aunt is in the Cancer Treatment Center there and she was not doing so well so I took his mom to see her, and I was so proud I never got lost on the way there or back:) n e ways, Paul had the kids, the first time EVER I have never been away and he had them alone, no mom to turn to cause she was with me, my mom was out of town..and oh boy did he get a reality check, he was calling non stop wanting to know when I was coming home and how to do this and that, and where this although he will NOT admit to me but all his friends say he said that he understand why i get so stressed, but it hasn't changed him much, back to the kids, when I got home it seemed that they had grown 10times on me, bubby was so happy to see me he was signing mom mom mom, and Allie well I think she had become daddys girl but it didn't take her long to cry for mommy! Not really much else new with us still the same, for know and I'm going to try to get some pictures posted and try to keep on top of blogging