long time

wow its been so long since i have even logd in to this blog. I really need to get back into, there has been so much going on with the kids in the last year! Its been that long its christmas time again and that about the last time i done this. Now they are both in school and I have some free time to sit down and do this. Not much cause i try to cram and get lots of stuff done why their gone, but i will try try to keep up and get some pics posted of the kidos there getting so big

Almost a New Year!!

Wow I can't believe that it is almost 2010 it's so weird to think of that..So again been awhile, but kids are doing great. Today took Zachery to CMH to the ENT doctors, kinda a waste of time but it has been so long since he has gone, basically wait till after winter is over and bug season come back and we will do a bronc scope, tonsils?out but until then keep doing what your doing, your doing a great job...So that's good I guess no need for anything major. Allie is doing good to she is her normal self mamamamam...As for the things with the nurse are actually going good, I have been out of the house this last week more than I have been in 5 years! Last Friday me and Paul went to a concert at the Midland in K.C Twisted Christmas it was awesome for me Paul on the other had he's not into that much, but I made him have fun! Done with all the Christmas shopping, and tomorrow my grandma is coming to spend the whole weekend and we are going to make some Christmas candy, I'm excited haven't seen my grandma as much as I like, but this will be her first time staying with us, and our first time making Christmas candy together, so this should be fun! So if it's 2 weeks or more if I get to write again I hope everyone had a safe Merry Christmas and a Happy safe New Year

Lots Happening!!

So it's been almost 2months since I last wrote..wow lots has happned in thoes two months, as last I said I got a nurse to help out. In October little miss Allie was so sick, we were in and out of the doctors office, the ER, the hospital here in Trenton and then off to Childrens Mercy. By the time she was admitted to CMH, she was not doing so well, we went from our home docs saying pneumonia,bronchittis,asthma, allergies...to H1N1!!! Allie was diagnoised with this after arriving to CMH they tried everything they could with her, she was only getting worse with every little breathe she took she moaned:( it was so horrible to watch her. the last resort was to put her on the ventilator and let her body fight, in the process of this she developed pneumonia, pseudamonis, her kidneys were shutting down, her heart didn't want to pump right and she ended up having to have a blood transfusion. she was in the PICU for 20+ days, at first everything kept getting worse, they didn't know what else they could do for her, it was the worst feeling ever not to know, on top of all this they were having problems keeping her sedeated, that littl girl had more meds pushed in her one day they I will ever see in a life time...wow Finally she got better and was moved out of the PICU on to the floor, believe it or not only 7days off the vent we were got to come home finally. so from oct,17-nov,13 Allie was in the hospital I just thank god every day that he gave my little girl the strentght to pull through!!! As for mister Zachery he has been doing great!! I want to keep him this way, it was so hard to be away from him that time, I came home atleast once a week to see him, i missed him so much, but he is doing awesome going to school and being just a onrey little boy:) allie finally went back to school today..ahh leery of the germs for the both of them, but can't keep them in a bubble, but for now were all doing good, and well kids are in need of mommy so I;ll let this be it for now

A little more time...maybe :)

So it's been quite awhile since I've sit down and posted...Things have been pretty busy around here lately..At the end of August Paul's aunt passed away from lung cancer, as I always do I tried to take care of every ones needs. Also I've been trying to help my mom out who is sick with her own problems, we've made a few trips to Kansas City for her to see the doctor.. For once it's wasn't Zach and Allie! I'm so excited for Zachery and Allie, they started school last week, and seem to be liking it really well. Our mornings are even crazier, I have to get Allie up at 6 and get her dressed and fed before the bus comes at 7:30, after I get her on the bus I get Zachery up and dressed and fed before the bus comes back to get him at 10:00, so from then till noon I have no kids, they bring Allie back home at noon, and then Zachery gets back about 2:30. I find my self not knowing really what to do. I'm working on something to do beside clean! So back to the first day of school, of course I got tears the firs day putting them on the bus. This is the first time either of them have rode the bus. Poor little Allie I felt so bad, I put her on the bus and when I started buckling the car seat, her face was so scared looking, like mommy what are you doing and why are you leaving me, it made me have a lump in my stomach to put my little girl on the bus and watch it drive away:( Zachery was pretty clam with it, like see ya mom I'm a big boy. The first day when they brought him home he was out like a light on the bus. Today Allie was so excited we were singing Allie is going to school and she was clapping and singing, it was so cute. They said that she clapped all the way to school. And my little man Zachery. oh today he melted my heart, when the bus pulled up I was standing outside, waiting for him and, he seen me out the window, and smiled really big and started signing mom over and over again, when I got on the bus and he seen me, he was so excited, like he wanted to tell me all about it. Oh my babies are not babies anymore, they are growing up on me so fast. I was sitting and thinking the other day that Zachery will be 5 in January. Well since I could sit here and go on and on, have a lot to say..But as I was saying I'm hoping to have a little more time to keep up on the blog, I haven't forgot about it or anyone that we follow or who follows us..

Time Needed!

I for the life of me can not keep up.. The kids are keeping me on my toes 24/7 i can't turn my back on them or sit down for a few, there is always something to be done here cleaning laundry or just chaing them room to room. man Zachery is getting so fast at rolling, I wish he would just stand that boy thinks that it is so funny to stand that he gets to laughing so hard and just plops down, and he is so heavy that I can't stand him very long..and as for miss Allie, she watched her brother and learns from him. I feel like we have so many appts to catch up on, man if we make them all and go to all of them needed, we mise well just stay up there I've thought about calling a social worker and saying ok we need these put us in the RMH and make them all for one week, I feel kinda like I have been slacking on alot latley, it seems there is not enough time for anything..on that note I did it I have called in for some nursing!!! They are going to be sitting up a interview..I tell you I think i have got so caught up in depression from not getting out of the house much I' feel like breaking some days...with school getting ready to start and nursing I hope it will get better..I just feel almost like I will make the kids think that I don't love them..gosh I do this all the time I feel so guilty.. I have to over come this guilty feeling and I don't know where to begin...any suggestions??? Oh I have to tell you my little man just amazes me he is so loving to me and it melts my heart..I put my finger to my mouth today and said shhh and he put his finger to his mouth and smiled real big at me and I take my and under my chin and say hey bubbby and he takes his fist and hits his chin, he also does that for mom, it's so cute I try to catch alot on video but when the kids see i have it they don't do anything it's like they knw I'm trying to catch them doing things...well thats all for tonight Zach's feeding pump is beeping and he just woke up ahhh it's gonna be a late night with him, awake at 9 so I'll try to keep on top of posting I promise

Sorry!!!

Sorry it has been so long since I have wrote, things have been so crazy and I'm not sure when they will get back on track...So the kids have been great, knock on wood! They are still little stinkers. The other kids will start school tomorrow, and Zach and Allie start September 8th, so a few more weeks. I have no clue where this summer went, it's over and I'm not ready for the cold weather to begin. So back to the kids..they seem to amaze me everyday, Zachery the little things that he is responding to me brings tears to my eyes, like the other day we were in dollar general and he was sitting in the cart and he looked a little tired, so i said bubby you ready for a nap and he shook his head no and smiled, needless to say that he went to sleep as soon as we got home. The next day I was getting ready to change his diaper and I said did you pee your pants you need me to change you, and he nodded yes and laid down for me to change him, It's so crazy how the little things make you so excited!! oh I was away for 4 days wow, I was in Tulsa OK, Paul's aunt is in the Cancer Treatment Center there and she was not doing so well so I took his mom to see her, and I was so proud I never got lost on the way there or back:) n e ways, Paul had the kids, the first time EVER I have never been away and he had them alone, no mom to turn to cause she was with me, my mom was out of town..and oh boy did he get a reality check, he was calling non stop wanting to know when I was coming home and how to do this and that, and where this although he will NOT admit to me but all his friends say he said that he understand why i get so stressed, but it hasn't changed him much, back to the kids, when I got home it seemed that they had grown 10times on me, bubby was so happy to see me he was signing mom mom mom, and Allie well I think she had become daddys girl but it didn't take her long to cry for mommy! Not really much else new with us still the same, for know and I'm going to try to get some pictures posted and try to keep on top of blogging

Happy 4th Of July

Hope eveyone has a safe and Happy 4th..Not much new with the kids, I don't remember if I posted about Allie also loosing a tooth, yep they are both one tooth less..she actually kocked hers out with he tooth brush..anyways I'm stressed about today, oh so many people will be at my house..Paul's wonderful idea!! oh yea me and my mom went and got tattoos yesterday..I felt kinda wierd I took my kids with me but, the guy is Paul's cousin, and I was kinda trippin on it and he was like whats the big deal...so I guess i should get over it!:) the tattoos mean "faith" the chineese symbol of faith..we all have to have "faith" And once again..KEEP praying for Tucker to get stronger and for his family. Have a great day everyone